series of unfortunate events

Dear Mr. Lemony Snicket,

Hi. I’m an avid reader of your stories. The trials and tribulations the Baudelaire children endure throughout your series truly shows the virtues of camaraderie, luck, and that being nerdy can save one’s life. Needless to say, it brings inspiration to many readers, particularly those that may be going through the same difficult situations as Violet, Klaus and Sunny. I am writing to you because I think Count Olaf has recently been hanging out in Hillsborough, NJ. You see… recently, somebody conspired with my school to double (or triple) the workload we have to do for each class. I believe this was the first attempt to suck life out of me. Unfortunately for the conspirator(s), it is not entirely successful. This may have resulted to a second attempt on my life in which somebody managed to make my rarely-ill body begin to have medical problems. This has caused inconvenience because it requires much of my attention and precious time. However, this unwelcome situation is not sufficient to extinguish my persevering spirit. Perhaps in an act of desperation, the third attempt on my life involves a flat tire. Someone made me foolishly hit a round metal pipe at the gas station this morning which immediately flattened my tire. I was forced to wait in my car for 75 minutes doing wordfind while waiting for the AAA guy to replace my flat tire. This little stunt of Count Olaf made me miss an important class this morning. Alas, these feeble attempts on my life have all failed. I still made it to my afternoon class and permitted myself to find humor in all that has happened. Please let me know if you wish me to report these series of unfortunate events to legal authorities. Thank you for taking the time to read my adventures.

p.s. looking forward to the end of the end which comes out tomorrow. Hmmm… somehow I think it is not coincidental that tomorrow is a Friday the 13th. I’m sure Beatrice would have found that amusing.

With all due respect,

sheryl